I usually want to inspire others to keep fighting… Today is not that day. ..

Today is a tough day .

Today is an extremely painful day.

Today my ear lobes hurt when I tried to wear my hoop earrings.

Today my gums bled.

Today my hands dropped everything I touched.

Today my neck, knees, and feet felt like they were smashed with a baseball bat.

Today the bottoms of my feet are screaming “ouch”.

My daugther hasn’t slept well in two weeks. The Momo challenge news has terrified her. She is back to waking up every night at 3am and staying awake until we have to get ready for the day.

Sleep is another form of treating chronic illness. It is the only way your body heals itself. Sleeping 4 hours a night is not enough to recoup from the day, let alone start the healing process.

I am a mother and at times I have to sacrifice myself to ensure she’s nurtured and emotionally well but there are times Mr. Lupus and Ms. RA don’t give a shit and strike me down.

The butterfly rash took me down several weeks ago and won’t give up. The Medical cream is not working… My Face and all the lupus spots are burning … Lupus hates my make up and is very angry after I wear some. BUT…I’ve been pushing through … Going to yoga… working, cancelling plans and trying to rest as much as I can.

Today I lost. I gave in. I cried. I hated myself. I hated my life. I didn’t want to fight back.

AND THAT’S OK….

It’s ok to give up.

It’s ok to give in.

It’s ok to cry and it’s ok to feel beaten. It’s really ok…

Tomorrow is a new day ….

Tomorrow you can be you…

Tomorrow you can kick ass…

Tomorrow you can fight …

Today is just one bad day out of many fantastic ones….

Keep fighting…

Live anyway…