An Assist

I find it very interesting when we think others who have challenging lives or experience great struggles are seen as strong because they choose to say nothing to no one or ask for any assistance.   They don’t need any support at all.  They can handle it all on their own.  They’re lying.  Many people never mention or speak about the stresses they face and our Society sees this as strength.  We are lying to ourselves.

In my personal and professional opinion, I do not see this as a strength.  This is a weakness.  It takes great courage to extend your voice to someone and discuss your inner emotions and your struggles.   It takes great strength to ask someone to assist you.  An assist is a support. Leaning on others doesn’t mean you are weak.  It means you recognize your need to lean on someone to get through that trial or tribulation successfully.  It takes even more courage and strength to extend your hand and grasp the hand who wants you to assist you and hold onto it.

At one point in my life, I would suffer in silence.  My attitude was “I don’t need nobody. What are they gonna do for me? I do for myself, by myself, for myself and ALL by my self” (hand on hip, head going and all). I wouldn’t let anyone know how much pain I was truly in.   I wouldn’t want to bother others with my health issues.  I didn’t think anyone cared, let alone want to assist me.  Now….I’m like yes, please! I would love some help.

And truly, there are people in my life who think nothing of my pain, and the disabilities it causes.  I’ve had “loved ones” not offer to take a bag after they’ve watched me struggle carrying it.  So now I ask to lean them also.   And I’ve also had many loved ones who are two steps ahead of me and assist me without offering or asking.  When those times occur, I feel the most loved and the strongest.

We cannot get by in this life without support.  Even with only the daily stresses, We cannot cope alone.  Let alone cope with all life’s stresses without being lifted off the floor when we have fallen.   Keeping our challenges and stresses in our soul damages it.  Don’t fake your pain, your stresses or your challenges.  We were meant to share ourselves with others.  Share it all, the good, the bad and the ugly. We cannot survive without human contact.  We cannot survive without assistance.  Whatever that assistance looks like for you. 

I am a very tough and strong woman.  Trust is difficult for me but extending my hand to others has become second nature.  It’s the core of my being.    And now that I suffer from Mr. Lupus and Ms. RA, I asked for the hands of others.   I have many hands that are extended to me and I only extend my hand to hold a very selected few, however, I can recognize how important this is for my mental health and in my journey through my autoimmune diseases.  I need assistance to continue in my remission successfully. 

I cannot fight this battle alone and even though these diseases are very lonely, it’s important, to be honest. Share your struggles, take the support, and the assistance offered.

So beware if you extend your hand to me, I most likely will hold  onto it, tightly and use any assistance you offer to my advantage. 

I am not hanging off life’s cliff without trying to pull my self up with the assistance of others. 

I no longer will pretend that I am fine and need no assistance from anyone. 

Keep fighting and use the positive support, the positive assistance that surrounds you.  It will help you rise.

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